Its Back

I'm still in shock.

I can't believe this is happening to me.

I thought this was done. I thought I was making progress.

I don't know what I thought....

The cancer is back again. This time in my spinal cord. No chance of surgery there. I have maxed out on my radiation input so at least I don't have to go through that again.

I can't even process what is going on.

I literally was worrying over my classes and how I was missing a week and how this was going to affect my grades, only to now not even care.I went from missing a week to missing the rest of the summer in 5 hours flat.

Its ridiculous.

What should I even think?

Yay I got one class done before having to go back to treatment. The small help that does to me finishing my school year.

Oh my god! I really can't believe I am going through this right now!

Did I bring this upon myself?

Was I too positive? Nah. I'm always positive. I don't know. There has to be something.

Will it be easier?

Can I really get through this again?

I won't be alone. I never was alone.

And yet...

This time won't be the same.

I can promise you that.

This fucker is going to be done with when this is all over with and I know that whatever I have plan for the future is going to happen cause it's a motherfucking fact. Ain't nothing gonna stop me from achieving my dreams. If this is suppose to encourage me, to make me stronger, to show my strength then lets go. I'm tired of being Ms. hNice Guy anyways.Get ready motherfucker because you gon' die tonight.  Fuck you Cancer

Fuck. You.