After being in the hospital for almost three weeks, they finally discharged me and since it was winter break, I went back home instead of going back to my apartment in Tallahassee. There isn't much that I remember from these early moments, I can only say that I had a clearer mind than it was in the hospital. I remember three major things: we stopped to use the restroom on the turnpike, we checked up on my dog, Maru, at my sister's house, and that I wanted to see my brother and grandmother, who were in Puerto Rico at the time.
I'm really attached to my family as a whole. Even though my parents are divorced, they are both a part of my life. I'm not fazed by them not being together. I don't see them as my parents, I see them as my mother and my father. Single units, not a pair. This may be why it's not difficult for me to see them separately.
When I had to go to Gainesville to get my surgery done, the people I consider my family came together to that city and even though my memory is a bit foggy from those days, I know that I got to see the important people that were able to come and see me, but there was still some people that I couldn't have been able to see.
My brother at the time was living in Puerto Rico and of course, he was staying with my grandmother. Even though we're a bit different to each other, I still love my brother a lot and he represents safety and protection to me in another way that my mother couldn't have been able to give me at that time. Another person who could give me care and love differently than my mother was my grandmother. I figure since those were the two that couldn't make it at the time to see me, I really wanted to see them.
I would beg my mother all the time to call them and hear their voices. It was the only way that I could have all of my family near me at such a vulnerable time. It was no surprise that when I got better I wanted to take a trip to Puerto Rico to see the both of them and the rest of my family. Although this time I wanted to go on my own.
Every time that I had gone to Puerto Rico, I had always gone with someone, but for this first time I wanted to travel on my own and I definitely did not want to travel with my mother. This time was all about me and what I needed. I didn't want everyone to be distracted by my mother, who everyone always paid attention to since she isn't seen all the time. I'm the one that just went through a serious surgery, not her. It's a little bit ridiculous, but this is the way that I was feeling before I went to Puerto Rico.
The trip was fun and I made a blog post about it, so I'm not going to mention much thoughts about it here.
My brother came to live with us soon after I moved back for my second treatment. Even though living with my brother can be its own brand of a headache, I liked having him here at home with me and my mother more than having him in Puerto Rico. The man has PTSD and honestly, the environment in Puerto Rico is not how it used to be and I preferred him not to be in that situation with the condition that he has. It was better to have him home, I felt like we helped to calm him down, plus having a girlfriend who would always keep him busy was another good thing for him, I would like to think that it made him not think about other things. A distraction. The fact that they got serious makes it better actually. It might be better than having a dog, which he had obtained after he got together with his girlfriend. He named him Chapo and his dog to me looks like a pit, but he's something else they say.... Life for my brother is going good, and I'm glad to see his life finally settle out on smooth plane.
My grandmother came to see me for a whole month. I know this was very hard for her to do since, she has to take care of her father, who is suffering through Alzheimer's and he's at that point where he doesn't want to get out of bed and do anything for himself. Thankfully, my aunt has taken the second role of being his caretaker, but my grandmother doesn't like to leave him behind, seeing as he's still her father. So it was a bit of a sacrifice to come see me, but she says it was worth it.
I finally got to enjoy having my grandmother around to take care me like a grandmother does and I totally used the opportunity to be spoiled by her. I even told my brother (who she always spoils) to back off because it's my time to get all of my grandmother's love and attention. If anything, it made miss my grandmother all the more when she finally did have to return back home. I'm glad now that my brother is getting married and that she will be returning for it. She will of course be paying attention more to my brother, being that he was the first grandson and so him getting married for the first time is a big deal, but I know that I won't be forgotten. Her ticket in a way is being taken care of by me. A doctor where my mother works has a foundation for single woman and has contacted my mother to be a represented by them and one of the gifts he gave her and me was a certificate of travel for my grandmother. Whenever she wanted to come here, they would pay for her ticket. This was probably the best gift that I had ever received from a foundation. I literally cried tears of happiness when they showed us the certificate, I was not expecting it at all.
If the situation I'm in has taught me anything, it's that I'm really family oriented. I care a lot for the family I have and I would never trade them for anyone else in the world. We've had some good days and definitely some bad days, but I know through the thick and thin we will make things work for us. I'm pretty sure that had I had to go through this without them, I would have probably given up a long time ago. My family is my support system and my heart. Without them, there would be no me and I would like to recognize the one who has made this family.
Abuela Tata, no se si vas a ver este mensaje, pero quiero decir que te amo mucho. Mucho love from your Americanize nieta.
